Anxiety During Trying Times

Hey everyone, I know it’s been a little while since I’ve posted but I’m here now.

The one thing I really want to talk about is anxiety during this time of the coronavirus. There are so many that are struggling at this time and it’s understandable but we have to do what we can in order to keep from getting anxious and depressed. I know it’s hard staying home for those that are outgoing and love to be around people while on the other hand it can be tough for those that isolate because of mental health issues.

We can look at this pandemic in many two different ways. We can either focus on the negativity of it or the positives. I don’t want to concentrate on the negatives, now that doesn’t mean I don’t stay informed or don’t practice social distancing it just means that the negative isn’t my entire focus.

So you may be asking yourself, “Has this lady lost her mind⁉️” No I haven’t. I am making a choice to look 👀 at the positive. If I don’t choose the positive then I’m in big trouble. My mental health will not be stable at all and I will go into a downward spiral which is not good for me or anybody else around me. I know what that deep dark hole of despair feels like and it’s not pretty so I have to do all I can to be mindful of my mental health.

At this time there is nothing we can do to stop what’s happening right now but there are things that we can do to keep anxiety from creeping up on us‼️

1. Stop watching the news all the time! When we watch too much news it can put us in panic mode so what my husband and I do is watch the news in the evening like we normally do. This way we are not obsessing about what’s going on because it’s not healthy.

2. Start that project you have been putting off because you haven’t had time. Once you have finished that project you will have a feeling of accomplishment which will help your confidence.

3. Spend fun time with your family! So we are all stuck at home anyway so make the most of it. Normally everyone is so busy rushing out and about that our families don’t connect anymore. So take the time now to build up that connection. Now you can actually spend time communicating with each other and having some fun. I know this may sound old school but do you have any board games? If so, play them! What about watching movies together or playing video games!

4. For those that may be alone, reach out to those you love ❤️. We have so much technology to reach out to loved ones and friends. FaceTime, Google Duo, Facebook messenger, these are great tools to be able to see those that you love. Utilize technology.

5. Spend some time with God. Whooaaa I just hit a spot there didn’t I? Now is the time we need to be praying 🙏 more than ever before! Listen to some uplifting Christian music 🎶 it is so good for the soul and at the same time you are getting Gods Word into your heart. I know that it helps me tremendously.

6. Exercise, do yoga 🧘‍♀️ or something healthy for your body. You can go outside whether it’s in your back yard or maybe you have a balcony or just walk around your apartment complex. There is something healthy you can do for your body even with the “Stay at Home” order that’s taking place. Going outside is healthy, you breathe in the air, enjoy the sunlight and I promise you that it will make you feel better.

7. What about that hobby you enjoy doing but haven’t had the time to do it…well…now is the time to pick it back up! Don’t have a hobby? Find something that you can enjoy doing? Are you creative? Make encouraging cards, create a painting, do something to bring out the creative in you.

8. Be an encourager for others! During this time there are so many people that need encouragement. One of the things I have been doing for quite a while now is sending out encouraging texts. I go on Google, find something that really speaks to me and I send it out to about 40 people every morning. I don’t do it in a group text, I send them individually and I can’t tell you how many times I get a response that they really needed that or they are going through a tough time and that simple action helped them.

9. Breathing and meditation. Now these can be very helpful for anxiety. When I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed I will take a few minutes to gather myself by closing my eyes and just breathe deep breaths slowly. It works wonders.

10. Stay in today! All we have is today, right now, in this moment so enjoy the moment. You can’t worry about tomorrow because it isn’t even here yet and yesterday is gone. All you have is today!

I hope these tips will help you. We can get through this together. You never have to feel alone‼️

Be blessed and remember to be a blessing to someone else,

Kelley

Never, ever Give Up Hope‼️

This may be a long post but i want to give hope to those who are struggling…
Last March I started an assignment through a temp agency with Fedex. It was an 11 month contract but I knew from the beginning that it would not become permanent. I worked hard and loved my job and my manager and coworkers were amazing. I held out hope that there may be a chance that upper management would change their minds and keep all of us but that didn’t happen. They actually cut the contracts of new temps to 6 months. That’s when I realized there was no hope of staying permanently. 2 months before my contract ended I started putting in applications on the Fedex website, Indeed and LinkedIn but nothing. It was just crickets 🦗. Even the agency I was working with didn’t have anything coming up. January 6th my foot doctor put me in a cast which made it very difficult to move around so I had to leave my assignment a couple of weeks early and draw from my short term disability. The cast wasn’t coming off until February 19th so I knew I needed to wait til that time came close before I looked for a job so a week before the cast came off I started the job hunt again. My doctor appointment was on a Wednesday, the very next day I received a phone call from Fedex to come in for an interview March 3rd, then about 20 minutes later I got a call from my recruiter at the temp agency about a new client and she sent me the information and I was hesitant because I really wanted to get on with Fedex but she encouraged me to take the assignment and I could always go to the interview and decide after that. She then calls me back and says the client wants me to start…he was so impressed with my resume that he didn’t even want to interview me, he was ready for me to start ASAP‼️ So I said ok, I’ll do it. Monday I got a call from American Car Center for a warranty specialist and wanted to set up an interview. Well, I started my assignment Thursday as an Administrative assistant with the mechanical department for MATA (Memphis Area Transit Authority) and I knew in my gut that this was the perfect job for me‼️ When I came home from my first day I received a phone call from Fedex for a different position I applied for months ago and I turned it down. I also turned down the interviews for Fedex and American Car Center. I know this job is the perfect fit. This is a temp to perm assignment and I fit right in with my coworkers, they do not care that I have purple hair or piercings and tattoos, it’s 10 minutes from my house and the benefits are even better than FedEx.
I have a tattoo on my wrist with the scripture Jeremiah 29:11 as a reminder that God has a perfect plan for my life and He really showed up and showed out‼️so, I said all of this to say, never give up, hold on to the hope that God is working on your behalf and He has the perfect plan for your life so trust Him and give Him all of your cares and worries and watch Him work‼️

Be blessed and remember to be a blessing to someone else,

Kelley

Valentines Day…..Is it really Love ❤️ ⁉️

So Valentines Day has come and gone. I would imagine the “lovebirds” were ever so mushy while others were heartbroken, disappointed or lonely. Valentines Day has always been known as a day for love ❤️ but why should love only be celebrated for one day⁉️ What about the other 364 days of the year⁉️ Are we not supposed to celebrate love the other days⁉️ Is this just a “Commercialized” holiday⁉️🤔 Retailers make some serious money 💵 on Valentines Day. Flower shops, greeting card companies, candy 🍭, perfume makers and other high dollar gift 🎁 makers profit tremendously from this holiday. But is it really necessary⁉️ So many women would argue that yes it’s necessary and that they better get a good gift 💝 or else….. Men are like “dang is it that time again”, made to feel guilty if they don’t do something for their girlfriend or wife.

I used to be like that. My feelings would get hurt 😔 if I didn’t get that special gift. I would be highly upset if the man I was with didn’t show me he loved me on that “special” day. I no longer feel like that and here’s why. Love should be shown everyday not just one day a year. My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years and I came to the realization that we show each other love all year long by the little things we do for each other. Whether it’s by him making sure I’m ok emotionally, mentally and physically or me letting him know how much I appreciate him. We let each other know daily that we love each other by not only telling each other but by our actions. Our love isn’t defined by what we can buy for each other, it’s about being there for each other during the good times AND the rough times. We celebrate our love daily‼️

Love 💕 isn’t a one day thing. Whether you have that special someone in your life or not love is a vital part of our life. We were created to love it’s in our DNA. The one commandment that is more important than any other is Love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. Mark 12:30-31. So you see, love isn’t to be shown one day but everyday whether with your significant other, a friend, family members or people in general. There are so many hurting people in this world that need to feel that love. Love is an essential need in everyone’s life.

So as I conclude this post, I will pose this question to you. How can you show love everyday⁉️ Who’s life can you change by showing an act of kindness, something so selfless that it can change the world⁉️ Some people just need someone to listen to them, others may need a shoulder to cry on, or some may need groceries or a financial blessing while others may just need a compliment or a simple smile 😀. Now THAT is what love is about‼️

Be blessed and remember to be a blessing to someone else,

Kelley

Human Slavery Still Exists

What IS human trafficking you ask? Human Trafficking is modern day form of slavery, widespread throughout the United States today. Trafficking of humans is the second largest criminal industry in the world after drug dealing, and is the fastest growing. Many victims are made to engage in prostitution, pornography or exotic dancing. But trafficking also occurs in forms of labor exploitation, such as domestic servitude or restaurant work, sweatshop factory work or migrant agricultural work.

It is important to remember that vulnerability to human trafficking is spans many areas such as age, socio-economic status, nationality, education-level, or gender. Traffickers will often prey on people that are lacking financially, have an unstable home life, low self-esteem, and/or have had a history of physical, mental and/or sexual abuse. Homeless and runaway youth are also at risk of being approached within 48 hours by a pimp. Pimps and sex traffickers are master manipulators and are very skilled at manipulating victims and maintaining control by use of threats, violence, deception and feigned affection.

It is so important to keep our youth educated about human trafficking. If you know of a youth, whether your own child or a young person that you influence, talk to them about the realities of human trafficking. Make sure you get educated!!! Don’t allow them to go places alone. Check their phones and what they are engaging in on the internet. Know who their friends are….who are they hanging out with? Spend quality time with them, let them know you care and that you love them…..if you don’t, there’s a trafficker out there that will…….

On the Injured List

Crazy title, right? Well that is me right now, just like some of my favorite football 🏈 players, I’m on the “Injured List”.

This all started over a year ago. I had started an exercise routine at home and then would walk on my lunch break. I started noticing that my heels were burning all the time and when I would wake up and stand on my feet it was very painful until I got moving around. By the end of the day my ankles and feet would hurt and I was wore out. So, finally after about 5 months of this I went to my primary doctor ( yeah I know…I should have gone sooner). So she had me go take some kind of test with an ultrasound and the results were normal. Yeah I was frustrated and just kinda blew it off and dealt with the pain but when I couldn’t take it anymore I went to see a podiatrist.

So I see this doctor, very sweet lady, get X-rays and the exam, you know, the usual stuff and then here goes the results. She says, “ Well Mrs. Alsobrook you have plantar fasciitis, Achilles’ tendonitis and inflammation around the bones on both your feet but on your right foot you also have a stress fracture.” The look on my face I’m sure was priceless and I’m thinking to myself “Geez Kelley, when you do it you really do it big” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ So in comes the nurse with my boot. I was truly not a happy camper about that. This was in May…..

To make a long story short, I had a couple of falls and mishaps that injured my foot/ankle a little bit more. Over the past 8 months of being in the boot my doctor has threatened a cast and a couple of days ago she made good on that threat‼️

Yep….for the next 4 weeks this is my new accessory 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. At least it’s purple‼️💜

The bad part however is that because of my weight I almost blew my left knee out trying to use crutches so I’ve been stuck at home barely being able to move around. Boring 💤. But I have a new toy that will be here today and that will help me get around.

Yep, my very own knee scooter 🤣🤣🤣🤣. One of my coworkers said “From G Wagon to knee wagon” I thought that was pretty hilarious. I’m thinking I may need to bling this thing out because that’s just my personality.

Well friends, I will write soon..

Kelley

Human Trafficking Awareness month

When preparing for this article I wanted to be sure that I was continuing to give information that really helped readers understand some personal aspects of Human Trafficking. The effects of this crime for the victim are life changing and the healing process seems to be life-long. I know for most people they ask questions such as “What attracts these girls to these horrible men”, “What makes them stay” and so on and so forth. I was able to have a great example of this with a post that I made on my Facebook page.

This was the post: 

“I push as hard as I do to promote Human Trafficking awareness because it is such a huge problem in our society. Many people still don’t understand the trauma that we’ve gone through and that there are resources are available.”

The following was a response from a concerned mother:

“Yes you do you push very hard at the same time its for people who never experience human trafficking to understand why does a person continue to put themselves in the predicament to get caught up in human trafficking by running away continuously with the same exact people wen they have a great home & they’re receiving great love at home from great parent. That’s why its hard for us including myself to understand the child is getting everything she or he needs at home, so why continue to go out there & get caught up in human trafficking either by choice or force? Its mind boggling for real.”

And here was my response back to her:

“I understand it being mind boggling ….people that get caught up in trafficking generally have an underlying issue that causes them to attract and be attracted to these horrible people!!!! No matter if they come from abundance or lack there is something on the inside they don’t receive and they go on the search to find it and they will do whatever it takes to find it even if it means it will harm them. Low self esteem, lack of either a father or mother, being bullied at school or being made fun of can really mess with someone’s self worth. Those that are strong and confident can’t grasp how they are feeling so they don’t understand but for the person feeling these things it’s their reality!! The trafficker knows just what to say or do to make the victim “feel” like they love them and do what they can to reel them in and BAM they’ve got them hooked and that person will do anything for them no matter the cost.”

Thankfully this mother better understood a little more of the “why” victims get sucked into this crime and have the attraction to these predators. There is a saying that I frequently refer to when talking about such things as Human Trafficking and Domestic Violence. “You attract what you are” and what this means is if a person is hurting and broken they are going to attract others that are hurting and broken. Just like misery loves company, broken attracts broken. This is why it is so important that there be healing for the youth of this generation. They are so broken and hurting so much that they are searching for love in all the wrong places and the traffickers are welcoming them with open arms!

There are so many aspects when it comes to human trafficking. As the month continues I will be sharing more about human trafficking.

Be blessed and remember to be a blessing to someone else,

Kelley

Welcome 2020

Welcome to 2020!! I am so glad 2019 is a thing of the past, it was a pretty rough year for me but I made it through. Last night was the first time I ever went to sleep way before midnight on New Years eve, but the last couple of days were absolutely horrible and honestly, I needed the rest. Hubby cooked us an amazing steak dinner, I cleaned up and then it was time to relax which is exactly what we did. One of my guilty pleasures is the skin care products I use. Everything is all natural and is hand crafted by my amazing sister, Trisha Hall, creator and founder of Dream & Water Skin care. So yes, I pampered myself last night and it was definitely well deserved.

I’m not the type of person that makes those New Years resolutions because they don’t last, but I do like to set goals but the funny thing is, I haven’t even set my goals for this new year yet. I do know one thing, I want to be a better person than last year…Not that I’m a bad person but there is always room for growth. And as I am sitting here typing this post goals are popping into my head….go figure, lol!

I am a consultant for Paparazzi Accessories and I am addicted to that $5 BLING but over the past few months I haven’t done anything with my business, I kinda fell off track but I can always get back in the game. It is a lucrative business and the jewelry sells itself but I also need to put the work into it. This is one of my goals for this year, to be consistent with my business because let’s face it, JOB’s are not always guaranteed. As a matter of fact, my current job assignment ends the 27th of this month, which I’m very sad about but I knew when I took this job it was only for 11 months.

That takes me to my next goal…finding a job that I will enjoy, pays well and I can retire from. I still have about 10 good years to put into a company before I retire. And before you even ask, yes I have been putting my resume out there. I have been applying for jobs on various sites and I am pretty sure I will get some interviews after this holiday season ends. I will keep you posted with that.

One of my biggest goals and I know this is the cliche for so many people but it is a goal….losing weight. I have tried for the last few years to shed these 75+ pounds but it seems I keep gaining. I have struggled with my weight most of my life but I have never been this big. My doctors have been on my case about my weight and how it will help my other health issues yada, yada, yada. I give them that look of “Duh ya think I don’t know I need to lose weight?” So, I am making a huge step towards that goal….I am researching the Gastric sleeve. Now wait, before you judge me about that, hear me out. I already know I will still have to do work, eating better, supplements, exercise, etc and I am ok with that. I am willing to do that but I do need that extra help. Nothing I have done has worked and both my parents were obese so it may be a genetic thing….who knows? What I do know is that I am tired of my bones hurting, tired of the pain nobody sees but I feel from Fibromyalgia, having no energy and yes the plus side to it is I will look better too. Yep, I’m doing it for my health and my ego. There….I said it!! You will be on that journey with me as well.

Now this one I am really struggling with…..finding a church home. I am really one the fence about this one. I absolutely LOVE God but I struggle with “church”. Some of my biggest hurts have been from the church and that is a hard blow. Do I read my bible….yes I do, daily. Actually its the YouVersion Bible app and I love it. Am I perfect….absolutely NOT! But I know God loves me flaws and all. I continue to grow my relationship with Him daily but I do make many mistakes. I’m a Christian but that doesn’t make me perfect and I’m not one of those “religious” folks that beats people over the head with the bible or judges others for their flaws. I really don’t like dealing with those kind of people because in reality they are just hiding behind religion and not facing their own demons. I’m not judging, but I’m just keeping it real.

Well, I think that’s enough for today, I wish for you a very happy, healthy, prosperous New Year!

Kelley

Who Am I & Why This Blog⁉️

This can be a very interesting 🤔 question. There are so many layers to who I really am. I’m 53 years young, a mom, grandmother, sister, friend and married to an amazing husband……BUT there is so much more to me‼️ I have endured almost 40 years of some type of trauma such as having a physically, mentally and sexually abusive father, many violent relationships, human trafficking, & sexual assault. But these thing don’t define who I am, instead it has shaped who I am today.

Am I perfect? Far from it….I deal with mental illness and physical illnesses. I have triggers, trust issues and there are many times my perspective can be skewed due to my experiences. I can be loyal to a fault, I have a huge heart ❤️ and love the underdogs. I’m a fighter, a survivor and thriver.

So, enough about me. Why did I make the decision to create this blog⁉️ That’s an easy one…..I created this blog to help others know they are not alone. I struggle with trauma, loss, church hurt, health issues, PTSD, and now starting a major journey with my weight. Over the last few years I have struggled with weight loss no matter what I have tried. I am willing to share my struggles, hurt, pain, wins, & happiness in order to give others hope. So if you feel broken beyond repair, bruised and busted you are in the right place.

Now…..let’s get this thing going…

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